 Wysłany: Sob 16:39, 21 Kwi 2007 Temat postu: |
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| A nice video about 2 crazy grandmas.
http://amazing-matures.info/video908421/ |
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| Wysłany: Pią 21:11, 20 Kwi 2007 Temat postu: |
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| Wysłany: Śro 18:38, 11 Kwi 2007 Temat postu: |
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| Wysłany: Pią 17:24, 30 Mar 2007 Temat postu: |
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| High quality full size videos!
http://amazing-girl-videos.com/ http://alisa-videos.info/ |
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| Wysłany: Czw 2:32, 15 Mar 2007 Temat postu: |
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| Carmen Electra Giving A Head And Taking A Load!
http://Carmen-Electra-Giving-A-Head-And-Taking-A-Load.org/WindowsMediaPlayer.php?movie=644901 |
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| Wysłany: Czw 20:38, 23 Lut 2006 Temat postu: |
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| Znasz może więcej?? | |
| Wysłany: Nie 23:20, 12 Lut 2006 Temat postu: Fińskie dowcipy :D |
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| Pewnego dnia Pekka i Toivonen spotykają się po długim czasie i wybierają się do sauny. Przez kilka godzin popijają wódkę. Pekka pyta Toivonena co tam u niego słychać. Toivonen nic nie odpowiada, kontynuując picie przez parę następnych godzin. Wreszcie powoli odpowiada: "Przyszliśmy tu żeby paplać, czy przyszliśmy tu żeby pić?".
"Czy wiesz co się staje z małymi chłopcami, którzy zamiast chodzić do szkoły idą grać w hokeja?" - pyta nauczycielka małego Kalle. "Oczywiście. Rosną, stają się profesjonalistami w Kanadzie i zarabiają piekielnie dużo szmalu". Ilu fińskich inżynierów potrzeba, aby wymienić żarówkę? - Niewiadomo, ponieważ gdy fińscy inżynierowie spotrzegają, że żarówka jest zrobiona ze szkła, a w środku ma nitki, spędzają całą noc próbując to rozwiązać! Pewnego dnia urządzano wyścig narciarski. Pekka dotarł na miejsce na samym końcu, dobrą godzinę po tym, jak przyszli inni. Na pytanie sędziego o to, czy naprawdę chce wziąć udział w konkursie odpowiedział: "Oczywiście, że tak. W przeciwnym wypadku nie spędziłbym tak dużej ilości czasu na trasie". Fiński prezydent oraz premier rozmawiali o przemówieniach, jakie wygłosili podczas swojej kampanii wyborczej. "Co powiedziałeś w swym przemówieniu?" - zapytał prezydent. "Nic" - odpowiedział premier. "Tyle to wiem, ale jakich słów użyłeś?". "Jaka jest różnica pomiędzy mną a Wikingiem?" - zapytał Olli. "Nie mam pojęcia" - odpowiedział Ville. "Gdy Wikingowie wracali do domu po wojnie, wówczas zaczynało się prawdziwe picie. Natomiast gdy ja przychodzę do domu po paru drinkach, wówczas zaczyna się prawdziwa wojna". W Egipcie odkryto mumię faraona i nawet wielcy eksperci nie potrafili określić wieku mumii. Wreszcie ktoś wymyślił, aby zwrócić się z tą sprawą do KGB. Ludzie z KGB spędzili z mumią pięć minut i poinformowali: "Ma 5463 lata". "Skąd jesteście tacy pewni?" "Sam się przyznał". Mały Kalle był nieznośny podczas posiłku. "Nie zjem sera! Nie zjem sera! Ma takie wstrętne dziury!" "Posłuchaj Kalle" - krzyknęła mama - "Nie musisz przecież jeść dziur". Teppo udał się do pizzerii i zamówił pizzę. "Czy chce pan, abym pokroił ją na cztery czy na osiem części?" - zapytał kelner. "Poproszę na cztery. Nie jestem wystarczająco głodny, aby zjeść aż osiem". Virtanen oczekiwał na zwolnienie ze szpitala dla umysłowo chorych. Doktor, po przebadaniu swego pacjenta, oznajmił: "A zatem.. dobrze. Wierzę, że mogę pozwolić teraz panu iść do domu, do żony". "Czy myśli pan, że zwariowałem?!" Mieszkaniec Turku złowił 10-kilogramowego łososia. Ku zaskoczeniu wszystkich, wrzucił rybę z powrotem do rzeki. "Dlaczego to zrobiłeś?" - zapytali przyjaciele - "Czy brak ci zdrowego rozsądku?". "Naszej rodziny nie stać na to, aby jeść tak drogie jedzenie". Szwed siedział w pubie w Finlandii. Pewien stały klient złożył mu propozycję: "Dam ci 200 dolarów, jeśli pozwolisz mi rozbić na swojej głowie dziesięć butelek piwa". Szwed chwilkę pomyślał i w końcu się zgodził. Fin roztrzaskał na jego głowie pierwszą butelkę, następnie drugą i kolejne, ale skończył po rozbiciu dziewięciu butli. "Więc.. kiedy zamierzasz rozbić dziesiątą butelkę?" - zapytał Szwed. "Nie jestem kompletnym idiotą" - odpowiedział Fin - "wówczas musiałbym dać ci te 200 dolców". Gra, w którą Szwedzi grają na imprezach? - Jeden Szwed wchodzi do skrzyni, a inny próbuje zgadnąć, jaki Szwed jest w skrzyni. W szwedzkiej fabryce stała maszyna do kanapek. Sven nie rozumiał do końca, do czego owa maszyna służy. Podszedł do niej, zapłacił 10 koron i dostał kanapkę. Był tak podekscytowany, że zapłacił kolejne 10 koron i otrzymał następną kanapkę. W końcu miał już całą stertę kanapek, i inny pracownik zastanawiał się, co takiego Sven robi. "Sven, nie sądzisz, że powinieneś już przestać?" "Co ty bredzisz, właśnie zaczynam wygrywać!" Po czym poznać ekstrawertycznego Fina? - Gdy z tobą rozmawia, spogląda na twoje stopy zamiast na swoje własne. Spotyka się dwóch Szwedów. Jeden mówi: "jeśli zgadniesz ile pomarańczy mam w tej torbie, to dam ci wszystkie siedem". Jak pokonano szwedzkie łodzie podwodne? - Wróg wysłał na dół nurka, który zapukał do drzwi. Wędrowiec spaceruje wzdłuż brzegu szerokiej, głębokiej rzeki próbując odnaleźć jakieś miejsce, w którym mógłby się dostać na drugi brzeg. Po przebyciu kilku mil, napotyka na Heikki'ego, stojącego na drugim brzegu. Wędrowiec krzyczy: "Panie, jak mogę się dostać na drugą stronę?!" Heikki odkrzykuje: "Przecież już pan jest na drugiej stronie!" Trzech budowlańców, Włoch, Niemiec i Fin siedzi na wysokiej belce, jedząc swój lunch. Włoch odpakowywuje swoją kanapkę i krzyczy: "O nie, znów salami! Jeśli jutro otworzę lunch i znajdę salami, to skoczę w dół." Niemiec otwiera swój posiłek. "O nie, znowu bratwurst! Jeśli jutro otworzę lunch i znajdę bratwurst.... żegnaj okropny świecie! Skoczę." Fin jako ostatni rozpakowywuje lunch. "Do licha! Znowu masło orzechowe i dżem! Jeśli jutro znów dostanę masło orzechowe i dżem... wyskoczę." Na drugi dzień Włoch odkrywa, że znowu ma kanapkę z salami. Skacze. Niemiec się przekonuje, że kolejny raz ma bratwurst w lunchu. Skacze. Fin otwiera lunch i widzi, że ma masło orzechowe i dżem. Również skacze. Trzy żony budowlańców wypytują innego pracownika, żeby dowiedzieć co się stało. Wszystkie trzy były zrozpaczone i płakały. Wdowa po Włochu powiedziała: "Nie rozumiem. Wystarczyłoby, by powiedział mi, że nie chce znowu salami." Wdowa po Niemcu powiedziała: "Ja również nie rozumiem. Dlaczego zwyczajnie nie powiedział mi, że chce coś innego niż bratwurst?" Wdowa po Finie rzekła: "Ja naprawdę tego nie rozumiem! Mój mąż zawsze sam sobie robił kanapki!" Ambulans przyjeżdża do szpitala, syreny wyją, światła migają. Personel szpitala szybko przynosi nosze z pacjentem do izby przyjęć. Na noszach leży Heikki, z dużymi poparzeniami po obydwu stronach twarzy i na uszach. Lekarz pyta: "Heikki, co się stało?" Heikki odpowiada: "Właśnie prasowałem w domu, gdy zadzwonił telefon. Niechcący podniosłem do ucha rozgrzane żelazko, zamiast słuchawki telefonu." Zaintrygowany lekarz na chwilkę się zamyśla, po czym mówi: "Heikki.. Mogę zrozumieć jak oparzyłeś sobie jedną stronę twarzy, ale jak doszło do poparzenia z drugiej strony?" Heikki na to: "No cóż... musiałem zadzwonić po karetkę". Różnica między fińskim weselem a fińskim pogrzebem polega na tym, że na pogrzebie jest jedna osoba niepijąca wódki. Fin, Szwed i Norweg znaleźli się opuszczeni na małej wyspie, którą zamieszkiwało plemię kanibali. Kanibale uwięzili trzech mężczyzn, pozwalając każdemu z nich wyrzec swoje ostatnie życzenie. Norweg zapragnął po raz ostatni ujrzeć swoją żonę, kanibale poszli ją znaleźć. Po tym jak zobaczył swą żonę, Norweg został zjedzony, a kanibale zrobili z jego skóry kanoe. Fin zapragnął zapalić papierosa. Dostał papierosa, a gdy go wypalił, sam został zjedzony, a z jego skóry kanibale zrobili kanoe. Przyszła kolej na Szweda, który chciał dostać widelec. Zaczął robić sobie w ciele dziury, i krzyczał: "Nie zrobicie ze mnie kanoe!" Szwed spacerował sobie ulicą, trzymając pod ramię kaczkę. - "Gdzie znalazłeś tę małpę?" - zapytał przypadkowy przechodzień. - "To jest kaczka" - stwierdził Szwed. - "Zamknij się! Mówię do kaczki". Heikki niósł wielką rybę w wiadrze wody znad jeziora, które słynęło z udanych połowów. Zatrzymał go w pewnym momencie inspektor i rzekł: - "Czy ma pan licencję na łowienie ryb?" - "Nie potrzebuję licencji, to jest moje zwierzątko domowe". - "Jak to domowe?" - zapytał inspektor. - "Każdej nocy zabieram moją rybę do jeziora i pozwalam jej trochę popływać, następnie gwiżdżę - wówczas ona wyskakuje na brzeg jeziora. Wkładam ją do jej wiadra i wracamy do domu". - "To jakieś bzdury, ryby tego nie potrafią!". Heikki spojrzał na inspektora i zapytał: - "Czy chce pan, abym to zademonstrował?" - "Ok, muszę to zobaczyć" Heikki wypuścił rybę do wody i stał tam czekając. Po kilku minutach inspektor zwrócił się do Heikkiego: - "No więc?" - "No więc co?" - rzekł Heikki. - "Czy ma pan zamiar zawołać z powrotem swoją rybę?" - "Jaką rybę?" Jak wygląda typowa fińska rodzina? - Grupa ludzi o różnych nazwiskach, którzy mają klucze do tego samego apartamentu i napadają na tę samą lodówkę. |
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